


Bring it on Home

by Dingobaby



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Carry On References, Ending Fix, Fix-It, M/M, Roadhouse in Heaven (Supernatural), Series Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27898765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dingobaby/pseuds/Dingobaby
Summary: After defeating Chuck, Dean narrowly escaped death on a simple hunt and decides that he is through with the life.A 15x20 fix it fic
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 50





	Bring it on Home

**Author's Note:**

> If you are reading this, the you, too were most likely dissatisfied with the series finale. If not, and you just wanted to read something related to the show, that's cool, but I wasn't happy with it. Truth is, I have about 20 different scenarios that could have made it better ranging from shipper crack space to ambiguous gen. I decided to write one that fell somewhere in the middle to make myself feel better.
> 
> *warning* there is a part that is highly upsetting, so if you are still pretty fragile I suggest you don't read, but I promise it ends happy!!!!*
> 
> This starts during the fight scene in the barn with the Vamp mimes.

Dean caught himself against the support beam, taking a steadying breath before launching himself once more at the vamp with all his strength. The vamp pushed back and caught Dean off balance. He stumbled back a few steps trying to regain his footing, but it was useless. Instead of gaining any ground, Dean found himself toppling backwards, his body meeting the ground before he had time to blink, causing the creature to trip over him and fall, face first, into a piece of re bar sticking out of the post with a sickening crack, as it pierced the ridiculous mask and stabbed it between the eyes. Dean got to his knees and flipped around just in time to see Sam slice through the bastard's neck, its body falling to the ground while the head remained stuck, its blood soaking into the wood and dripping onto the dirt below.

"Dean?" Sam breathed as he dropped the blade and jogged over to help Dean to his feet. "Are you okay?" 

Dean winced as Sam grabbed him by the arms to pull him up, his whole body aching. "Yeah, yeah I think I'm good." He took a deep breath, feeling a twinge of pain as soon as he did, indicating he had probably bruised a few ribs at least. "That was close." He groaned through gritted teeth, trying his best to ignore the pain. "Thanks for having my back."

"No problem." Sam half chuckled, pulling his Dean into a hug, only to be met with a pathetic whine. "Are you sure you're okay?" Sam asked as he stepped back examining Dean's expression. 

"Yeah," Dean coughed, wincing once more. "Yeah, just a little beat up is all. Could be worse." 

"No kidding." Sam scoffed."C'mon. Let's go get the stuff to clean this up before the authorities show up." He moved to help support Dean so they could walk out, but Dean shoved him off.

"I'm not some damsel in distress, dude." He scoffed. " I don't need you to carry me out of the dragon's lair bridal style and take me to your steed. My legs work fine." 

"Whatever." Sam laughed as he walked away. "Jerk."

"Bitch." Dean smiled as he hobbled behind. He paused at the door and looked behind him, staring at the disembodied head for a moment before taking a slow glance around the barn. A shiver ran down his spine. He shook it off and let out a sigh before leaving the barn to go help Sam.

******

"Castiel."

Cas stood with his hands in the pockets of his trench coat, staring wistfully after the brothers, as they left the barn. "Not like that Jack." Cas said, firmly. "I couldn't let him die like that."

"Cas, I made a promise to be hands off." Jack said from beside him, staring off in the same direction. "Chuck was too involved. That's where he went wrong. That's why everything went the way it did. We can't interfere with there lives anymore."

"I know." Cas replied quietly, hanging his head slightly. "I know that. I just couldn't stand by and…."

Jack placed his hand on Castiel's shoulder. Cas turned to look him in the eye. "I know." Jack said, a sympathetic smile crossing his face. "But it's time we leave them alone. They deserve to be free now." Cas nodded his solemn agreement. "C'mon. We have work to do." Cas nodded again, sparing one last glance towards the barn door before leaving the Winchesters behind.

*******

Sam placed a glass down on the table next to Dean before plopping down in a chair on the opposite side with his own. "How ya feeling?" He asked, before taking a sip.

"Sore." Dean replied as he picked up his drink. Sam huffed a small laugh from his nose in response. 

They were in the library, sitting at the table with their family's initials. Dean was sitting with his legs spread out across two chairs, Miracle was sitting with his chin resting in Dean's lap as the man absentmindedly scratched behind the dogs ears. It was peaceful, quiet. No impending apocalypse breathing down their necks, no demons coming to collect a debt, no alternate universes to save, no Angels demanding their cooperation, no one dictating their lives. Just them. 

"I got a job." Dean said, after a while, breaking the silence as he stared off into the distance. 

Sam choked down the rest of his drink and shook his head. "Dean, I get that you wanna keep going on hunts now that we don't have anything else going on, but I think maybe you should take a few days to heal up before we get back out there. You're not exactly young anymore and…"

"No." Dean said quietly, cutting him off. "That's not what I mean." He set his glass down and sat up, still facing away from his brother as Sam waited quietly for him to continue. "I, uh…" he coughed, struggling to get his words out. "I got a real job. A paying one. Nine to five, 401k, the whole nine. I applied for a contractor position last week after...everything, and I..I got it. Paper work's on my desk, waiting to be sent in."

"What?" Sam breathed out in disbelief.

Dean pulled his bottom lip between his teeth with his tounge and squeezed his eyes shut before turning to face Sam. He opened his eyes and shook his head. "I can't do this anymore, Sam. I can't."

"You're giving up?" Sam asked, bewildered. "Now?"

Dean scoffed and shook his head again. "No. No, actually I'm doing the exact opposite."

"I don't get it…" Sam replied.

"You said it yourself, man." Dean shrugged. "I ain't built for this anymore. All it would take is one little slip, one mistake and it's sayonara, lights out. For good this time. That could have easily been me impaled on that rebar instead of that vamp. If I hadn't tripped over my own damn feet…"

"Dont talk like that…" Sam argued.

"It's true." Dean said firmly. "It's true and you know it, Sam. I don't…you know, I used to be okay with it. A part of me always knew I'd go out on a hunt. Some ghoul or a werewolf or something would get the best of me and that'd be it. And..and I was fine with it. At least I went down fighting, you know, at least I died trying to save someone. I used to be okay with it, 'cause honestly, that's all I ever thought I was good for anyway but then…" he swelled deeply, taking a shaky breath before he continued "here lately, I don't know, I just don't wanna go out like that anymore. Call me crazy, but I think I might actually wanna live." He stared across the table at Sam with a sad, yet hopeful smile.

They sat in silence for a while, letting the weight of Dean's words settle around them. "What does this mean for us?" Sam asked finally.

"Were still brothers." Dean shrugged. "You're my family. I love you. Just because I don't wanna spend the rest of my life hopping around the country, sharing nasty motel rooms and ganking monsters with you anymore, doesn't mean I don't love you. I will always be there for you when you need me. Always, you understand? I just dont wanna keep risking life every damn day anymore."

Sam sniffled, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. "And what am I supposed to do?"

"You can start by calling Eileen." Dean said.

"Dean…" Sam tried to argue.

"Don't give me that." Dean cut him off. "You know Jack brought everyone back. I know you've been ignoring her calls, I just don't know why."

Sam sniffed again and looked off to the side. "We weren't meant to have that kinda life, Dean. We aren't the type of people who get to enjoy the apple pie life .You know that."

"Why not?" Dean demanded. Sam opened his mouth to reply, only to close it again and wipe a tear from his eye. "What's there to be scared of, Sam?"

"We've already lost so much," Sam answered, his voice broken "I've already lost her so many times I can't…"

"So, don't lose her this time." Dean said. Sam dropped his head, tears steadily streaming down his face. Dean slowly got up, giving Miracle a final scratch before he made his way around the table, carefully sitting down in the chair next to his brother. He grabbed Sam by the face and pulled his attention up, looking into his eyes. "Eileen is perfect for you, Sammy. She's not like Jess. She's not Amelia. If you wanna keep hunting, you'd have a bad-ass partner by your side. She can handle her own. And if you don't, I'm pretty sure she'd be willing to settle down with you. Hell, you two could even stay here, set up a school, revive the Men of Letters. Make it what it should have been. You both have the knowledge and the experience. You could make it work." 

Sam began crying harder, fear swelling in his eyes. Dean pulled his brother to his shoulder and let him sob against it as he rubbed his back. "Hey, hey it's okay. It's okay. I know you're scared. I…I know it hurts. I know you don't wanna have you're heart broken again. I know you don't wanna let yourself love someone only to lose them…I…I understand, believe me I do. But sometimes you gotta take that risk. Sometimes you gotta put yourself out there. If you don't….life's too short to live it full of regrets. I don't want that for you man. You deserve to be happy. No one should live their lives not knowing what happiness is." He choked back his own tears as he held his brother, rocking him back and forth. "She makes you happy, Sammy. And that's all I've ever wanted for you. You gotta at least try. Please? I need you to be happy."

Sam pulled back and stared at his brother, a million questions racing through his mind, but only stuck out more than the others. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"What about your happiness?" Sam asked. "You say you want me to find Eileen and make a life for myself. What about you?"

"That's what I'm trying to do." Dean said Carefully. "I'm trying to move on. I want us to have the lives we deserve."

"Why, now?" 

Dean swallowed again, and closed his eyes. "I told you. Jack's sacrifice, Cas's…they mean nothing if we don't try to live the best lives we can. We owe it to them to try."

"Dean…" Sam said softly. He waited for Dean to open his eyes, tears streaming down his face. "I miss them too. I miss them so much. I didn't even get to tell Cas goodbye. I'm sorry you had to be the one to see Cas go. I'm sorry I wasn't there with you." 

"It's…" choked out, clearly struggling to hold it together, "it's fine."

"No, its not." Sam argued. "I know you two were closer, but Cas was my friend too, maybe if I was here with you guys, I could've helped in some way and he'd still be…"

"Stop." Dean half shouted, causing Sam to jump. He took a breath and tried again, a little calmer. "Stop, Sam. Just…stop. There's nothing you could have done."

"How do you know?" Sam watched as Dean leaned back and scrubbed his hands over his face. "You never told me how he saved you. You said that he summoned the Empty, but you never explained how or why it took him and Billie, but left you. Maybe if I was here, we could've figured it out, without him…"

"Enough." Dean sobbed. "Sam you couldn't have done anything, so please just…" Sam met his eyes, the silent question hanging in the air. Dean took a deep breath and tried to find the right words. "It took Cas because they had a deal. That's how he summoned the damn thing. He finished the deal."

"What deal!?" Sam asked. "When?"

"Apparently, when Jack's soul went to Heaven, it followed him." Dean started. "It wanted to take him to the Empty and…and Cas wasn't having it. He knew we needed Jack and….and that dumb son of a bitch offered himself up instead. It agreed to leave Jack alone, and take Cas, but only…christ…only after it felt he had suffered."

"Jesus…" Sam huffed. It was hard to hear. The Winchesters had set the example of self sacrifice and Castiel had followed in their foot steps in the worst kind of way. "What….what did he have to do…to make it feel like he had suffered enough?" Sam felt sick. It was bad enough that Dean had to watch his best friend die, again. It was bad enough that Dean had been alone when it happened, but the thought of Dean having to watch Cas suffer as he died, suffer, in order to save Dean's life…it was a wonder Dean wasn't a complete wreck. 

Or maybe he was. 

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Sam watched Dean curl in on himself. The gasping sobs only made worse by his injuries. Sam sat and rubbed his back as he waited. It broke his heart to know his brother had been holding it in for so long. He knew that it had taken Dean a while to respond to his frantic phone calls after Chuck had wiped the Earth, but now he was starting to realize, those few hours weren't nearly long enough for Dean to handle his grief. It was a while before he pulled himself together enough to speak again.

Dean gulped, taking a few deep breaths before he trusted his voice enough to form words. "He said, it wanted him to…to know happiness. It wanted….it wanted him to know what it was like…to…to know what it felt like to be happy, so that it could be the one to rip it away from him." 

Sam was confused, to say the least, but he let Dean have another minute before he continued to explain. Whatever happened was obviously traumatic, and even though Dean was well versed in trauma, he wasn't handling it nearly as well as Sam had thought. "So, he made himself happy? And it killed him? I mean, I think that's what you're saying but…I don't…"

"He loved us, so much, Sam." Dean answered. 

Sam figured that was the end of the conversation. He knew the Angel had loved them, considered them family. He took a little solace in knowing he died happy, but he wasn't going to push his brother past what was his obvious breaking point. Not tonight. He moved to go grab the bottle of whiskey, preparing to drown their sorrows in liquor for the night. There would be time to discuss it all later. More time than he thought apparently, because Dean was done with hunting. Whatever happened with Cas had obviously broken him, but as he began to rise, Dean spoke up again.

"I didn't get it." Dean said, his voice distant. " I didn't…I didn't understand. One minute he tells me that he made this deal, that he sacrificed himself, for us, next thing I know he just starts…he starts telling me all these things…"

Sam settled back down, confused, but intrigued. "What do you mean? What did he say?"

Dean shook his head, doing his best to avoid his brother's questioning gaze. "He told me..he told me I was worth more than I thought I was. That I wasn't just some tool. That I was worth more than just the people I saved. He… I don't know, man…he just kept talking about me like I was this amazing thing…like I was something special. Said I was the reason he learned to care about stuff…the reason he changed…that was the one who taught him…that I taught him to…to love."

Sam sat quietly, shocked. He was trying to understand just what Dean was saying, but it was all so much. There had to be more to it. Maybe he wasn't understanding quite right, because from the sound of it, well…it sure sounded a hell of a whole lot like Dean was saying…

"He told me that he loved me."

That.

It made sense. Cas had always taken more interest in Dean. He had always come back to them no matter how many times Dean drove him away. He had given up everything for them, for Dean. It made sense, but Sam wasn't ready to jump to conclusions. Cas had told them he loved them before, a few times. The last time he was on what he thought was his death bed, he had said it. ('I love you. I love all of you.') Was it actually possible the first one was only meant for one of them? Was it meant for Dean and Dean alone? Sam's head was spinning, but that wasn't important. He still wasn't sure how exactly Cas had died.

"What…um…" Sam started, trying to chose his words carefully, "what did you do?"

"I didn't know what to do." Dean admitted. "I…he told me that he wasn't sure what his happiness would even look like, because the one thing that would make him happy was something he could never have…" 

…and if there was any question in Sam's mind about the type of love Castiel had expressed towards his brother, that statement alone had killed it. Dean looked up then, looking completely lost. Sam's heart broke for him. He knew that look. He had seen it on his own face in the mirror so many times. The face of someone who lost…everything…

"He said that happiness wasn't in the having." Dean continued. "That it was in just being. Saying it. Then…then he told me that he loved me and…and I just froze. I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't know what to say. I asked him not to leave. I asked him not to go. At least, I think I did. I don't know. Everything was happening so fast…I didn't want him to leave me…not like that…not before…and the he just said Goodbye and pushed me to the ground to get me out of the way and…and then he was just…he was gone, Sam." 

Sam sniffled and nodded his understanding, because he did understand. He understood now, why Dean wanted to give up hunting and start a normal life. He understood why Dean was so insistent on him reconnecting with Eileen. He understood why Dean wanted them to try and be happy, to be free. He understood everything. He stood up and grabbed the whiskey, pouring a glass for each of them. Miracle trotted over to Dean and rested his head his lap again, while the two men sat and drank the rest of the night, discussing their future. They went to bed as soon as the sun was coming up.

The next day, Sam called Eileen, apologizing for everything, and explaining what had happened. The next few days was a flurry of activity, moving Eileen into the bunker, Dean going off to his first day on his new job, setting up their plans for the future. Every once in a while Sam would find Dean thinking quietly to himself, lost inside his head. He left him alone in those times, but was always there when Dean needed to talk. It was a few months before Sam and Eileen had worked out a plan, eventually settling on Dean's idea of creating a safe space for hunters at the bunker, reviving the Men of Letters and combining it with the hunting network. Sam and Eileen would be the dispatchers, gathering information and sending people out on hunts. They had decided to mostly retire from active duty themselves, only taking simple salt and burns, or other hunts that posed the least risk. It was time they settled down and made a life for themselves anyway. Within the year, the three of them had managed to make the bunker a real home, for themselves and the family they made along the way.

Neither Winchester had ever been happier.

******

It was a little over three years, after that final hunt, when tragedy struck, again.

It had been snowing fairly hard that December, and the roads were completely iced over. Dean was on his way to the hospital that night, to meet the new baby, when the Impala met a patch of black ice. The paramedics had told Sam and Eileen that he most likely died on impact, so there was no suffering involved. Judy took care of the funeral arrangements, so that the couple could get the new baby settled in. It was no surprise to anyone, when the decided to name him Dean Robert Winchester.

Jody had informed Dean's coworkers and friends that there would be a memorial party held at his favorite bar, but the family wanted a private service, as they were having him cremated. The bar party was fun, for what it was, people celebrating the life of the man they thought they knew, telling stories of Dean's antics around job sites and cracking Jokes about his standoffish behavior whenever women would approach him. He had told them that he spent too many years fooling around and just wanted to find someone to settle down with, and he knew that none of the women who hit on him in bars wanted that. He said he had based that assumption on experience, but anyone who knew him, really knew him, knew better. It was fun, none the less, celebrating the man Dean had become over the last few years.

The next day, the hunters gathered at the bunker, each of them helping to build his funeral pyre. They had convinced the hospital that Dean wanted to be buried in a natural way, behind his home, under a tree, by his family. It was a mess of paperwork and legal arguments, but Sam managed to get his body back home. Once the pyre was finished, a few hunters, along with Sam, wrapped him up and place him on top, along with the scraps from the Impala they managed to salvage from the junk yard. An hour after they had laid him down, after each of them had said their goodbyes, they each lit a match and threw it on the pyre, sending Dean Winchester up in the Blaze of glory he deserved. Eileen held her new baby tight in one arm, and her husband's head against her shoulder with the other as they stood and tearfully watched the flames die down, long after everyone else had left. 

"He's in a better place, Sam." She said quietly as the embers started to fizzle out. It was a cliche thing to say, she knew, but it was all she could think of.

Sam turned to her and gave her a sad smile, before signing "I know." and taking the baby from her, to bring him inside. Maybe she was right. Jack was God now. Sam had faith that he had fixed Heaven. That's where Dean would have gone with Jack in charge. Dean was in Heaven, he had to be. 

At the very least, he knew what it meant to be happy, to be free, before he died.

*******

Dean stood, confused, as he found himself in the open air, warm daylight streaming over green hills.

It was night. It was December, there was snow on the ground, he remembered, he was driving and …oh… 

Poor Sam. They had made such progress over the years. They had become even closer, they had become genuinely happy. It was a bittersweet realization what had happened. He must have gotten into a terrible wreck on his way to meet his nephew. He felt awful that he had died the night the baby was born, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He hoped his brother would forgive him.

"Well at least I made it to Heaven." He said to himself with a smile on his face.

"Yup." Said a familiar gruff voice beside him.

He turned to see Bobby sitting next to him in a chair, outside the Roadhouse. "What memory is this? He asked, knowing it was pointless, but for the life of him he couldn't remember.

"It ain't ya idjit." Bobby chuckled in response, to Dean's surprise.

"Yeah it is." Dean argued. "'Cause the last I heard, you…" he pointed at Bobby and looked around, starting to feel uneasy and suspicious, "you were in Heaven's lock up." Something wasn't right.

"Was." Bobby replied, getting Dean's attention. "Now I'm not. That kid of yours, before he went… where ever…made some changes here. Busted my ass out, and then he…well he…set some thing's right." 

Dean sat down in the chair next to Bobby, listening to the man's explanation in disbelief.

"Tore down all the walls up here." Bobby continued. "Heaven ain't just relivin' your golden oldies anymore. It's what it always should've been. Everyone happy, Everyone together." He smiled. "Rufus lives about five miles that way," He chucked, gesturing towards the hills, "with…Aretha. Thought she'd've had better taste." He joked. "And your mom and dad…they got a place over yonder." He said, pointing the other direction. Dean couldn't believe it. It seemed too good to be true. Bobby turned to him with a gentle smile and shrugged. "It ain't just Heaven, Dean. It's the Heaven you deserve. And we've been waiting for ya." He bent down and grabbed a beer from the cooler between them, popped the cap and handed it to Dean, before grabbing one for himself. 

"So, Jack did all that?" Dean said, relief starting to settle in. He looked around, This was Heaven. Really Heaven. Set right. He was so damn proud of that kid. 

"Well…" Bobby said, a little teasing in his voice, pulling Dean's attention back. "Cas, helped." The older man smiled with a eyebrow wiggle as he took a sip from his beer.

What?

WHAT?

"Cas?" Dean asked, breathlessly.

A noise from behind him had his heart jettisoning into his throat. It was a noise he hadn't heard in years. The flutter of Angel wings.

"Hello, Dean."

Dean turned his head cautiously, now completely convinced he was dreaming after all, because there he was, standing just a few feet away, hands awkwardly shoved into the pockets of that stupid, ugly trench coat, looking the same as he did the day he left Dean.

"…how…" Dean gasped, setting his beer down and slowly rising to his feet. "Cas, I…I watched you…how are you…"

Cas dipped his head, looking at everything but Dean. "Jack. He brought me back from the Empty when he put the world back in order. He needed help rebuilding Heaven and thought I would be the best candidate. He also said he missed me, and that I shouldn't have had to die. So…" he pulled his hands out of his pockets and opened his arms, before letting them fall back to his sides, still refusing to look at, Dean."

Dean nodded, smiling internally, downright fucking radiating with joy, but he was still confused, and kept it to himself. He crossed his arms and glared at the Angel. "Okay, so, Jack brought you back and it never once crossed your mind to.. I don't know…maybe let me and Sam know you were okay?!" He grumbled. He wasn't angry, he couldn't find it in himself to be so. Cas, was alive, standing right there in front of him. He was however, enjoying seeing the Angel struggle. His awkward behavior reminded Dean so much of how he used to be when they first met, and Dean was soaking up every bit of it that he could.

Cas shot him a quick, guilty, glance before looking back down at his feet. "I…I wanted to. I intervened once, before Jack could find out that I had come looking for you. After that one time….we agreed it was best to let you live your lives without us getting in the way. You deserved to be free of our interference."

"Oh, I see." Dean scoffed. "So, rebuilding, Heaven was more important than letting your family know you were okay. Got it."

Cas's head shot up to glare at Dean for all of two second before his expression faltered. He went from wrathful, to sad, to expressionless so quick that Dean almost missed it. "I apologize for wanting to make your lives easier. I should have been considerate of your concerns and perhaps let you know I had returned before I came home and fixed what was broken. Forgive me for wanting to set things right and placing the needs of humanity as a whole above relieving, what may or may not have been, a little grief on your part."

'A little grief?!' Dean thought to himself. It almost broke him out of the whole charade as soon as he heard those words. After all this time, Cas had to know how much he had meant to them. To him. Instead he shrugged. "Hey I get it man. Needs of the many out weigh the needs of the few right?" He turned to Bobby and gave him a little wink. Bobby shook his head and took a sip of his beer to hid his grin. Dean turned back to Cas fighting even harder to keep his face neutral.

"Dean." Cas said, now finally looking Dean in the eyes. "Surely you understand that I…" he paused, searching Dean's face before clenching his Jaw and looking away again. "I had to atone for my mistakes. Helping to rebuild Heaven into what it was meant to be was the best option. As much as wanted to…I am sorry that I did not make my presence known. I was NEEDED here."

"I said I get it, Cas." He picked his own beer up and looked out over the hills. "You did a good job. You fixed Heaven. Good for you. You even got beer up here." He took a sip and shook his head. "Oh, wow." He chuckled. "Tastes like the first drink I ever shared with my dad." He looked at Cas out of the corner of his eye to see the Angel perk up slightly. 

"Quality stuff?" Bobby asked. 

"No, it's crap." Dean said, seeing Cas slump once again. "But it was fantastic." He amended. 

"Just like this" Bobby smiled over at the Angel, who was still staring away from them. 

"It's almost perfect."

"He'll be along." Bobby said casually, referring to Sam. "They all will soon enough. Time up here it's…different."

"I figured as much." Dean chuckled. "No, I want Sam to live a full, happy life. All of them. They Deserve it. Nah, everything seems just about right. No complaints really." He shrugged. "Somethin' just ain't sittin' right with me is all."

"Whatever it is, Dean…" Cas said quietly "please let me know. I can change it. I want to make Heaven perfect for…for everyone."

"Well, you see here Cas," Dean set his beer down again and took a few slow and careful steps toward the Angel, "you put all this effort into helping Jack make this place perfect, and you did good, but you kinda overlooked something major."

Cas looked up at him, confused. He almost looked like he was ready to retreat. To give up entirely. "What?" He asked.

"Alright, so it's not with Heaven, exactly I guess." Dean shrugged, moving closer. "More like what you could've done better while you were on Earth. Actually, more like how you could made it easier after Chuck was outta commision. Don't get me wrong. After we quit hunting life was going pretty great, but…"

"Dean, I know I messed up. That is why I spent the last three years trying to fix my mistakes. I will never forgive myself for having a hand in making your life miserable. It is why I agreed to stay out of your life after Jack brought me back. I…I know what I said to you…I didn't want to make things…I'm sorry…if you want I can leave you in peace here as well…"

"See, that right there is the problem man." Dean said, now standing right in front of Castiel.

"I understand." Cas said solemnly. " I'll just leave…"

Dean flung his arm around the Angel before he could escape and squeezed him as tight as he could. "Don't you dare." Dean said. "Don't you dare leave me again. I asked you not to leave me the last time I saw you. I asked you to stay and you left me anyway. Don't you dare ever leave me again."

Cas stood, still as a stone, as Dean hugged him tight, letting himself feel the last bit of peace that had eluded him in his final years. "Dean?"

"My life was good. My last few years were amazing and they were almost perfect. I had almost everything I wanted…but God, Cas, it just wasn't the same without you. I had almost everything i wanted, I had almost everything I needed, but I didn't have you. I was so messed up over what happened Cas, and it took me forever to accept it. I had to accept that you were gone and you weren't coming back, and I guess a part of me never moved on, but I learned to be better. I learned to do things for myself and be a better person. I learned how to be my own person and I did it all because of you. I tried to be everything you said that I was and it made me a better person and it was great, but I wanted you with me. I wanted you to see that I was getting better. I kept living and I kept improving because you made me believe that's what I deserved, but…but it all would have been so much better if you were there to share it with me. And…" he paused still holding the statue of an angel in his arms, shamelessly burying his face into his shoulder, "…damnit Cas, would you please hug me back?!" 

Cas moved slowly, his movements full of uncertainty as lifted his arms and wrapped them around the human. Dean sighed and let himself melt into the hug, Cas squeezing tighter as he did.

"I always needed you Castiel. From the moment you walked into my life, and I need you still. Please don't think for a second having you in my life was a burden. You saved me, even after you were gone. I understand that you didn't want to interfere, but that don't change the fact that I wanted you there with me. I now I have you back and I am not letting you get away from me again. So, please, for the last time, please stay."

Dean felt the Angel melt into the hug as well, and finally, finally everything was felt right. "Okay." Cas said, smile evident in his voice even though Dean couldn't see it.

"Alright boys, break it up." Bobby chuckled fondly. 

Dean was the first to break the hug, stepping back enough to see a small smile on Cas's face, but then something shiny behind the Angel caught his eye. He gasped, seeing Baby parked just a few feet away, glistening in the sunlight.

"Well," Bobby said behind him, "You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So, I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now Dean?" 

Dean turned around to smile a Bobby, a warm feeling of content flooding him to his core. "I think I'll go for a drive." He said.

"Have fun." Bobby smiled back, lifting his beer towards Dean before taking a drink.

Dean took three steps toward the Impala before turning around and seeing Cas standing where he had left him. "You comin' Cas?" He asked, tilting his head towards the car.

Cas's smile widened. "Of course." He replied, dipping his head shyly, before following behind. 

They slid into the car together, and Dean took a moment to slide his hand over the dashboard and the steering wheel. "Hey, Baby." He greeted her. He spotted Cas staring at him fondly out of the corner of his eye, causing a smile to spread over his own face. He started the car and turned on the radio, chuckling as "Carry on Wayward Son" began blasting through the speakers. "I love this song." He smiled over at Cas.

"It suits you." Cas nodded.

Dean nodded back and threw her into gear, speeding off down the road. The first place they went was his parents place, after asking Cas for directions. Mary flew out of the house (his old house) before Dean could even put the car in park. He got out, and raced to meet his mother, picking her up and swinging her around in a circle. He heard the car door shut at the same time he saw John approach Castiel, the two of them sharing a few short words of introduction, but they would both have to wait. Mary grabbed Dean's face and kissed his forehead, crying about how much she missed him. They talked for a while, about everything that happened after she died, everything with Jack and Chuck. He told her about his final hunt and getting a Job, what Sam and Eileen had done with the bunker, the baby. He felt a small twinge of sadness explaining how he was on his way to meet his nephew when he ended up here. Mary shushed him and hugged him again, telling him that it wasn't his fault. Before he could respond that he knew, that sometimes accidents just happen accidentally, Mary had stepped back and began rushing toward Cas. 

Cas turned from his conversation with John at the sound of her feet and nodded to her with a smile, not expecting her to scoop him up into a giant bear hug. He patted her back, confused and cautious at first, before finally accepting her affection in full. From what Dean could see, Cas was getting much the same treatment from his mother as he did, and it made his heart soar. John came to stand by him as he watched his mother fawn over the Angel like he was one of her own kids.

“Your, uh…your friend there tells me you had a big hand in all this.” John said, awkwardly. "The way Heaven is now and everything."

"Did he now?" Dean said.

John nodded. "Said you were the main reason he and that kid…the new God…made it so everyone can be together. Said you were the one that taught him about family. That it only seemed right that everyone was happy together."

Dean huffed a small laugh and shook his head. "Yeah, Cas has a tendency to blame things like that on me." He smiled as he continued to watch.

"I'm surprised he knows the meaning of family, given you were the one who taught him." John said solemnly. Dean turned to argue with his father, but stopped short when he saw the sad look on John's face. "God knows I did a pretty crappy job of teaching you."

"Dad, that's not…" Dean started, before being cut off.

"Don't be making excuses for me, boy." John shook his head.

"You did the best you could for us." Dean said firmly.

"No," John said, "I did the best I could for me. I was angry and broken and hell bent on revenge. I was suffering but that doesn't mean I should have made you and your brother suffer along with me. I told you I was hard on you so you could learn to protect yourself, but that wasn't it. I just couldn't stand the fact that I failed to protect my family and I took it out on you. I relied on you to take care of yourself and your brother so that I could get my revenge and while that is my explanation, its certainly no excuse. I should've put your guys's needs ahead of my own and I didn't. I wasn't a good father to you, Dean. I'm sorry."

"Dad…"

"Doesn't seem to matter though." John shrugged, ignoring Dean's protest. "Look what you managed to do without me. You went and made a family all your own. And a damn good one at that, if what we got here now is any indication." He gestured around them. "Even managed to teach a damn Angel what family should mean." He turned to face Dean then, a smile finally gracing his features. " I am so proud of you son."

"Thank you, sir." Dean said, choking up.

John nodded and turned away once more. "I know it wasn't easy for ya. I know life was difficult. I know that I am partially to blame. I can't begin to imagine what kind of mess your head was after everything I did to you. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how sorry I am."

"Dad," Dean said "You made me the man I am today. It may not have been all good, and yeah, I'm not gonna lie, i was kinda messed up about some stuff, but I would've never gotten this far if it weren't for you."

John nodded again, acknowledging the small forgiveness Dean had granted him and shrugged. "Yeah, well. Can't take all the credit." He nodded over to Cas and Mary, directing his son's attention back that way. Dean smiled at the scene before him, Cas's head dipped in guilt as Mary lectured him about something. "It probably helped to have someone who loves you forcing you to see the good in yourself." Dean's head shot back to John in shock, waiting for him to say something more, but instead John just laughed. And everything was okay.

He and Cas stayed a while longer, they ate dinner with his parents and made a promise to visit again soon. After they left, they drove out to a field to watch the stars on the hood of the impala, sharing a couple of beers from the cooler in the trunk.

And they talked.

They talked about everything they had hidden from each other over the years, every secret, every lie. They talked as they watched the galaxies swirl above them, getting out everything they had held back. Eventually they got back inside the car and made their way back to the Roadhouse, to be greeted by everyone the had lost along the way. Pam and Ellen were serving up shots, while Jo brought them burgers as they sat down at the bar. Charlie and Kevin were scrunched up with Ash in front of his laptop as he explained how he managed to hack into angel radio. Rufus and Bobby were bickering in the corner while Missouri sat and laughed at them from the booth she was sharing with Adam. Everyone was there, everyone was happy. 

Dean finished his burger and made his rounds, taking his time reminiscing with each of them. There was no rush, time didn't matter anymore. It could have been hours, or it could have been days, by the time he made it back to his seat next to Castiel, where a fresh glass of whiskey awaited him. He sat down and took a sip, smiling over at the Angel as he did. Yeah, everything was just about perfect. So, the quick look of distress and Cas's face was a little more jarring than it should have been.

"Cas?" He asked, concerned.

Cas closed his eyes and bowed his head before looking back at Dean with a sad smile. He didn't need to say anything for Dean to know exactly what that meant. Dean slammed down the rest of his drink and grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair. "Hey, everyone." He shouted over the crowd. " I'll be right back. I need to give someone a ride." The crowd cheered and Dean threw on his jacket, kissing Cas on the top of his head before running out the door.

He didn't need to ask directions this time. He somehow knew exactly where to go. He drove down the road at top speed and came to a stop in the middle of a bridge. He got out and took a minute to appreciate the beauty of the river and forest below. This was his life now. Forever. Peaceful and free. The only thing that was missing…

"Heya, Sammy." Dean grinned, as he felt his brother approach. He turned around to see Sam, looking just the way he remembered.

"Hey." Sam said softly, before Dean pulled him into a hug. 

They pulled apart and Dean mussed his hair before guiding him over to the edge of the bridge. "Welcome home, little brother." He said, as the two of them stared out over the water, finally at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry dean died. I didnt want him to. I'm still pretty messed up about it to be perfectly honest. I cam think of a million ways they could have ended it without Dean dying, but I knew in my heart it was going to be the only way to end the show for good. At least I gave him a few more years before he met his end....idk...I hope you enjoyed this mess.


End file.
